


No, I Just Haven't Told Him

by starbebe



Category: Monsta X (Band)
Genre: Anal Sex, Face-Fucking, Friends With Benefits, Light Bondage, M/M, Porn with Feelings
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-05-23
Updated: 2020-05-23
Packaged: 2021-03-02 20:54:20
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,083
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24333163
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/starbebe/pseuds/starbebe
Summary: "So many months on tour, so many nights spent sneaking into each others' room. Hands on bodies, lips on skin, screams and moans. They promised to end it after the tour. But Changkyun didn't expect to carry with him the one thing that was never supposed to come along. Feelings."The very cliche story of two people hooking up behind closed doors, no strings attached. Except then the strings get attached when they shouldn't be and these two aren't good at handling feelings.
Relationships: Im Changkyun | I.M/Lee Minhyuk
Kudos: 38





	No, I Just Haven't Told Him

Tour season was over. No more traveling from home, at least until the comeback. But that didn't mean they stayed put. No, every day was another schedule. Interviews, practice, preparation. The boys didn't stop for anything, even though they had been on the go for months now. But at least they were home today as it was their only day off for a while.

Changkyun wandered through the kitchen, tucking away clean dishes from weeks of disarray. Their busy schedule even kept Kihyun from cleaning some days. Seeing as he wanted to see his family, a couple stayed back to tidy up to allow him free time. Shownu stood before the sink, scrubbing the last of their soaked dishes. Things were quiet, but that's what happened with the two most silent in the house alone.

Changkyun was content with the quiet, spending his off days in his own studio. But today his brain was too busy for that, sitting in complete solitude would only make it worse. Having Shownu near was enough to occupy his thoughts. Though they didn't say much. He closed the cabinet, turning around to survey the clean kitchen. They finished bathrooms an hour ago. Changkyun went through the trouble of deep cleaning his shared bedroom with Minhyuk. Minhyuk left earlier that morning with Hyungwon for some shopping. He left before his roommate woke up, so the younger missed the invitation.

They spent every day together. Saw each other when they went to sleep and when they woke in the morning. Before the tour, some days Minhyuk's consistent presence got a little irritating. Quiet days like this were welcome. But today, Changkyun missed him. Ever since the tour, he missed him every moment he wasn't there. "I think... I'm going to tell him."

The elder shut off the water, glancing over his shoulder. He narrowed his eyes for a moment, drawing up the person in question. "Ah, Minhyuk?"

Changkyun bit down on his lip, nodding.

So many months on tour, so many nights spent sneaking into each others' room. Hands on bodies, lips on skin, screams and moans. They promised to end it after the tour. But Changkyun didn't expect to carry with him the one thing that was never supposed to come along. Feelings.

One of the two major rules they set from the beginning, both put in place at Changkyun's request. One, no kissing on the lips. A rule Minhyuk hated. "You let me kiss you everywhere else on your body, but not your lips?" He whined all the time, pouting, puckering out that bottom lip. Sometimes minding that rule was the most difficult of all, but they behaved well up until this point. "Are you afraid if you kiss me, you'll fall in love?" Which brought them to rule number two. No feelings. The second a single brush of affection poked through, it was over. They were back to their side of the bed, opposite ends of the room, never meeting in a hotel again.

Except Changkyun broke that rule. A lot easier than the first, many months ago. He never said anything.

"Are you still..." Shownu tucked away the damp hand towel on the bar of the oven. His attention darted between Changkyun and the floor. He mocked the maknae's position, arms crossed over his chest, staring at his feet.

"We haven't since getting back." The younger took in a long breath, chewing on the sleeve of his hoodie, thinking about their last night together. They ended up in a room together by chance so there was no asking members to switch. Or using Shownu's accidental knowledge of their situation to pull some strings.

That last night. They must have been at it for hours, knowing another chance would not come again. Up until that point, they talked of a promise to stop after the tour. Every night was a blissful high. Bouncing from city to city, country to country, performing in front of their beloved fans. Going back to the hotel at night, crashing in each others beds. Coming down from the high with something as exhilarating. Using the last of their energy for each other until they fell asleep tangled in blankets. They made a mess of that last hotel room, using every surface they could find for each other. The bed, the shower, the table. Even the window that overlooked the sleeping city several stories below.

Changkyun had the best sleep of his life that night and woke up to Minhyuk zipping up his suitcase. Already showered and dressed, asking if he wanted to join the others for breakfast. Changkyun said no from his bundle of blankets and bed sheets. Minhyuk popped a kiss on his forehead and said he would bring him something back. Minhyuk didn't come back. Changkyun helped staff drag his suitcase downstairs, and that was it.

They went back to every day life. Hopping on a plane back home, jumping right back into their schedule. Changkyun and Minhyuk settled into their shared room, and it was as if nothing ever happened. They acted as they did before the tour. Minhyuk was still clingy at times, and every now and then would crawl into Changkyun's bed. But nothing ever happened. They would watch a movie together or be on their respective phones. But no cuddling, no kisses on the neck, no removing clothes. The way things were before.

And Changkyun hated it.

He wanted every part of Minhyuk again.

"What do you think he'll say?" Changkyun pulled his sleeve from his mouth. He dug his phone from his pocket, swiping through some messages. The group chat, Wonho saying that he and Jooheon would be longer than expected from their workout. They found a cool hiking trail and wanted to take advantage of the find. And Minhyuk replying to his last message of, "When are u coming home?"

_Why, u miss me? ;)_

With a huff, Changkyun stared at the message. Yes. All the time.

_Nah. U been out all day. Come home before it gets dark haha_

His body jolted when Shownu pulled a chair away from the table, the leg scraping against the floor. The elder took a seat with some snacks Changkyun hadn't noticed him make while wrapped in his own head. "You mean, will he feel the same?" Shownu questioned, pushing the plate towards the center of the table.

With a heavy sigh, Changkyun plopped down in one of the chairs and reached for the food. He slipped a cracker in his mouth and thought about the ways Minhyuk could respond. His hopeful thought was that Minhyuk would be ecstatic. He would embrace him and admit he felt the same way since day one. Meaning they both broke the rule, but that was besides the point. He could finally kiss him without fear of their entire relationship crumbling.

Or Minhyuk could deny him, say he never felt that way, and everything would change. They would grow distant, Minhyuk wouldn't sneak into his bed anymore. He would watch him cling to everyone else while keeping away from Changkyun. Something his younger self wanted, but he grew accustom to his elder dangling off him at fansigns. Grabbing at his cheeks, biting his shoulder, resting his head against him during interviews. He couldn't imagine Minhyuk never being that way with him again. Not to mention not rooming together.

"I don't know what I'll do if he doesn't feel the same," Changkyun admitted through a hard swallow. His phone buzzed on top of the table and Shownu watched the younger focus on the phone instead. The leader took a second to gather his own thoughts on the situation. But since finding out months before, he had a solid opinion already on the two.

_Aww, u miss me! I miss u too, Kyunnie~_

_Hush. Come home, I'm hungry ;;_

_Hungry for what ;)_

Changkyun placed his phone down against the table and snatched up another cracker. He turned away, attention towards the small kitchen window as warmth built up in his cheeks. Normal. Everything was normal. "If he doesn't feel the same, he won't be mean about it," Shownu offered, relaxing in his chair. He checked his own phone, catching up on a slew of messages he missed while washing dishes. "Minhyuk is easy to talk to. I'm sure you can work something out if he doesn't love you the same."

A pang of fear struck Changkyun's heart. If he doesn't love you the same. He had never said the word love like that, but he felt it. He had told Minhyuk he loved him plenty before. Like a friend, like a brother, like a group mate. In passing or when he was being the annoying maknae every now and then. But not with his full heart, backed by months of unexplored feelings. Not like he wanted to spend until forever with him. Not like he wanted to know all his dreams for the future outside of the group. And at this point... he was afraid to tell him he loved him like that. "But it won't be the same."

"First you have to tell him... if he accepts, then great." Shownu set his phone down, looking towards the door behind them as if expecting the others to return. Kihyun wouldn't be back until tomorrow morning. Who knew when Wonho and Jooheon would return, or if they should send someone out looking for them. And Hyungwon announced moments before in the group chat that he and Minhyuk would be back soon. With an addition from Minhyuk asking what was for dinner. "If he doesn't... I trust the two of you enough to work it out. If we need to make adjustments in the house and have you switch rooms, we will."

"But I don't want to make adjustments," Changkyun whined, leaning over the table. He crossed his arms before him, plunking his head in the crevasse they made. "I want everything to feel normal."

His phone buzzed again. And again. And again. So much he thought he was getting a call. But it was Minhyuk mass texting him.

_U want ice cream? I can get u some_

_Or we can go get food_

_Did Shownu cook?_

_Kyunnie I'm hungry too~_

_Feeeeeed meeee_

Shownu cleared his throat and Changkyun threw his phone back down. "Things don't feel normal right now," he stated with a shrug, holding his hands before his face. "And they won't until you talk to him. Talk to him tonight."

"But Hyungwon's coming home with him, and later so will Hoseok and Jooheon." His phone continued to buzz and Changkyun shook his head. Shownu waved him on to answer it.

_R u ignoring me? I bought u something, don't ignore >:(_

_Okay, we're coming home 2 mins_

_think about what u wanna eat_

_I have ideas ;)_

_See u here._

Changkyun finally pocketed his phone and stood from the table. He snatched up one more cracker from the plate and stared out the window at the bustling traffic outside. "They're coming home now."

"You can still talk to him. I'll make sure everyone's busy and away from your room." Shownu pressed on a smile but Changkyun wasn't having it. He wanted the place empty in case things went sour. The younger was a sulky baby when he wanted to be. He didn't want a single person catching him in the aftermath of potential rejection. Knowing his quiet attitude, he would dart from the house for a walk alone if Minhyuk denied him.

"I would rather the house be empty except us..."

"Ah." Shownu nodded his head before standing from the table, moving the plate of snacks to the counter. He read over a message on his phone and outside, two familiar faces passed the kitchen window. He looked as though he wanted to speak, warn the younger not to get into more trouble alone. But he knew he was grown enough to known what steps to avoid in admitting his feelings.

Angry buzzing popped outside the door behind them. Although feet away, the bickering friends were loud and clear. "Left pocket," Hyungwon grunted alongside shuffling bags. A brief silence, followed by, "My left pocket."

"Okay, specify because your left is my right at the moment," Minhyuk fussed. A bump against the door, followed by more rustling bags and something hitting the ground.

"Just... hold this! I'll get my keys," Hyungwon retorted. At this point, Shownu was at the front door, unlocking it for the two. When he opened the door, Hyungwon stood with one shopping bag in his arm, key in the other ready to unlock the door. He breathed in and smiled, tucking his keys back into his pocket. "Thanks."

Shownu snatched a bag from each and the one off the ground. Minhyuk held one in particular under his arm, making sure to keep it closed. "What did you buy?" the oldest questioned, wandering back to the kitchen with the bags. He set them on the table and Changkyun stood to investigate, taking the items out little by little. New curtains for the living room. Cleaning supplies, some towels, a pair of slippers. All things that needed replacing now that they were back in the dorm. Shownu sent messages all day about supplies they realized they were out of as they cleaned.

"Stuff we needed," Hyungwon muttered, setting his bag on the table. He nodded to Changkyun, who hummed in return, still rummaging through everything.

"Stuff you told us we needed," Minhyuk added. He clunked down the last of the bags, minus the one under his arm. "You act like we're going to deep clean this place every day."

"It's clean now. We should keep it that way." Shownu peeked through everything, narrowing his eyes before glancing at the two. "Did you get anything for dinner?"

Hyungwon tilted his head, glancing over at Minhyuk. "No... Minhyuk said you were cooking."

"No, I said I asked Changkyun if Shownu was cooking." Minhyuk clutched the shopping bag against his chest, staring across to his roommate. Changkyun didn't look up from the table, brain lodged in the previous conversation. For some reason, even looking at Minhyuk was difficult, despite how much he missed him during the day. The nerves bundled in his stomach and he was afraid opening his mouth would result in things he didn't mean to say. So he remained silent. "And then I asked what he wanted for dinner... and he never responded."

Shownu glanced between Hyungwon and Minhyuk, feeling the tension bubbling between the two. They may have been friends for years, but that didn't mean they didn't get on each others nerves every now and then. Especially after spending an entire day with only each other. "We should go pick something up," the leader suggested, nodding towards Hyungwon.

"Can't we order in? We've been out all day," Hyungwon retorted, pulling what remained out of the bags and spreading it on the table. He took a moment to survey the clean kitchen before tossing the bags in recycling. Minhyuk pouted, bunching up his shoulders as he clutched his bag a little tighter.

Changkyun looked up, watching the exchange between all three in the room. Minhyuk and Hyungwon shared a strange but knowing glance. "You should go to that delicious noodle place on the other side of town we talked about... they never deliver out this far, anyway." A secretive hint spiked in Minhyuk's voice, like a plan was brewing behind his suggestion. Changkyun caught it. Like how he made up excuses why certain members needed to switch him rooms for the night. Because Jooheon snores, because Hyungwon keeps the room too cold. Wonho gets up too early to work out. Because he and Changkyun had movie they'd been dying to watch together. Minhyuk was up to something.

Shownu waited for Hyungwon to make up his mind. It was also obvious to the youngest that he was plotting to get him back out of the house for Minhyuk and his talk. "Please," Minhyuk hummed past his pout, nodding towards the kitchen table. "Changkyun and I will put everything away if you go with Shownu to get us food."

The man in question weighed his options, looking from his leader to the other two in the room. And then the jumble of random items all over the table. Most of which weren't for him, so he hadn't a clue where they needed to go. His stomach grumbled and he let out a moan of anguish before muttering, "Okay, fine."

Minhyuk smiled, darting past the table towards the hallway. "Okay, we'll come down and put that away in a minute. Changkyun, look what I got for our room!" His voice traveled up the stairs and Changkyun bit his lip, staring at the items on the table. He bowed his head to the two, a silent thank you to Shownu, before turning to follow suit. He trudged up the stairs, Minhyuk already bounds ahead of him. "Oh, wow! Our room!"

Changkyun finally joined him in the door frame, staring with pride at his hard work. Their room cleaned and organized for the most part. He even vacuumed and made the beds. He couldn't remember the last time he made his bed. Throwing the blankets in a heap int he corner was much easier. He tuned in to the footsteps downstairs before a door closed, signaling that they were alone. At least for a little bit. He stepped into their room, closing the door behind them. "You cleaned our room," Minhyuk muttered, setting his bag on the bed as he slid out of his cardigan. At first he threw it on the floor out of habit, but Changkyun nodded his head towards the empty hamper in the corner. He did the laundry, too. "It looks nice."

"Yeah... we cleaned the whole dorm." Minhyuk smiled bright and pounced over, throwing his arms around the younger. He pressed a solid kiss into Changkyun's temple. A gesture common place before their stint during the tour. But having him that close, pressing his lips against his skin, made his face flush. They needed to talk. They needed to talk now. But he couldn't spit the words out. "You have a good day?"

"I did. Sorry I didn't wake you up, but you looked comfortable," Minhyuk hummed. He loosened his grip around Changkyun's neck, still lingering. An adorable smile aided by a head tilt. "But I brought us back a few things." He finally let go and turned towards the bed, prying open the biggest shopping bag. From it he pulled a few smaller bags.

"Minhyuk," Changkyun started, his voice growing heavy in his throat. He swallowed, stretching out his fingers as he felt his palms getting clammy. He was one of the best in the group at speaking his mind, but only when it came to defending his members. Never had he prepared to talk about something like this. "Can I..." Another deep breath. Minhyuk didn't look his way, occupied with his shopping haul. "Can we talk for a second?"

And then the other man paused, staring into the biggest shopping bag. His back straightened and for a moment he contemplated the question. But then went right back to the bags. "Can we talk in a minute?" Minhyuk questioned, digging through the contents. He sorted things out on the fresh, clean bed. Candies, a notebook and new pencils, a few other things he kept hidden. Changkyun stood from the closed doorway, his back resting against it. His body trembled and he could feel his blood pulsing in his throat. He swallowed down the terrible lump, leaving the question unanswered. "I want to show you some stuff I got. Come here."

Changkyun stared, watching the way Minhyuk glanced over his shoulder. Bright eyes narrowed, almost devious before he returned to his shopping haul. The younger forced himself forward, trying not to make his anxiety obvious. So far Minhyuk hadn't picked up on his odd behavior. He reached out, reaching around the elder's slim waist to slot his hands in his jean pockets. He leaned his chest in Minhyuk's back, almost standing on his tip toes to look over his shoulder.

Minhyuk clenched one of the bags shut, tossing it to the side. It tumbled and rested beside his pillow. "Look at this," he hummed, fumbling into another bag, withdrawing a beautiful gold scarf. He held it between his two hands, admiring the swirling patterns as he twisted it around his wrist. "It's a bit flashy, but I thought I would use it as a headband. Or a scarf."

Hesitation built in his voice as he tilted his head, inspecting the scarf. He wiggled, feeling Changkyun's hands slide into his pockets and he leaned back into him. A hum escaped his lip, as if there were more to it. Changkyun waited on the edge of his words. Minhyuk continued to wrap the end of the sash around his hand. Over and over before letting the silk unravel down his wrist. His shoulders tensed, still looking down at the bags. "I thought I could use it on you."

"I'm sorry?" Changkyun slipped his hands from the elder's pockets, grabbing his hips instead. He pulled him back so they met together. He knew he shouldn't. He shouldn't be this close to him like this.

"You... I could use it to tie you up." Minhyuk's chipper voice slipped into a lower tone and Changkyun bit his lip. It was everything he could do not to groan into the back of his lover's neck. This was bad.

They shouldn't be doing this. Not until they talked. The two had promised that everything was over after the tour. They would return to themselves and never speak of it again. Changkyun hoped the separation would ease his feelings, but it only made things worse. He missed him, regardless of if they were sitting in each others laps or across the room. He missed him being close. Touching his body, falling asleep with his arms wrapped around him. They needed to stop and talk. But he couldn't. It had been a while since they slept together, and his arousal was getting the best of him. Minhyuk was getting the best of him, as he often did.

Swallowing, the younger straightened his back and dug his fingers into Minhyuk's hips. His eyes followed the way he twisted the gold fabric around his fingers. Tightening the bond, then letting it loose. Careful, delicate, dominant. "That's what I thought you said," he breathed. Minhyuk allowed his head to fall to the wayside, revealing his neck. Changkyun stared at the stretch of clear, beautiful skin, aching for a taste. He leaned in, pressing his lips into the crook of the others neck. "Didn't know you were into that."

They had done a lot during the tour. But time and location limited their activities, so everything remained tame enough. And most of the time, Changkyun was the more dominant one. They didn't talk much about it outside of the hotel rooms, so there were plenty of things left unexplored. Like all these feelings and emotional attachment he felt. But that was becoming less of a concern the more Minhyuk twisted that scarf. It took everything in Changkyun not to moan when Minhyuk leaned back into his groin. He pressed his lips into the firm skin against his lover's neck to suppress the urge. Minhyuk's body moved slow, rolling back into him with each nip against his skin. The grinding against his crotch popped a tent in the younger's sweatpants. Minhyuk muttered, low and primal through a grin, "I am into anything that will leave you begging for me."

The second that last word dripped from his mouth, Changkyun bit down into his neck. A moan vibrated through his throat and he stumbled them both forward against the bed. Minhyuk pressed his hands into the comforter, holding his weight into his lover's body. "Doesn't take much to make me beg," Changkyun smirked through another nibble. Minhyuk turned in the heat of the bites. He slid the sash wrapped around his wrist along the back of Changkyun's neck. Tumbling back, his elbows slammed against the bed, knocking a bag to the floor. Packages of candy, some hygiene products, and a box of condoms toppled around their feet. Changkyun stared down with a sideways smile nuzzled into Minhyuk's throat. "You planned this..."

"Right now," Minhyuk breathed, his hands finding the hem of Changkyun's hoodie. His hands eager, the sash still wrapped around his wrist. He laid kisses along the underside of the others jaw, on his neck, against his collar bone. Anywhere but his lips. "Right now while everyone's gone..."

Changkyun shuddered, knowing he wasn't getting out of this. He was already in too deep. Elbows on either side of Minhyuk's head, allowing him to undress him without another word. They needed to talk, but there was no spitting his words out now. One more time. One more time and then they would talk. He allowed the hoodie to slide from his body, watching it fall to the floor as he crawled further on the bed.

Minhyuk trailed a hand between them, brushing over the thickness in the others pants. The other hand still twisted in the golden sash, fingers tangled in Changkyun's hair. The younger buckled a bit, swallowing down a groan. Minhyuk only smiled as he palmed him over his pants, loving the little noises. "So cute," he murmured, brushing his nose against Changkyun's. Inches from a kiss, Changkyun forever beating himself up over a stupid rule. Yes, he put it in place because he felt it was more romantic, and would lead to trouble. But he was already in trouble.

Pulling his hand from between them, he strung it behind Changkyun's neck. He took the sash between his fingers and drew the fabric over the others head. Changkyun sat upright with a hiss as Minhyuk dragged it down his bare chest, nails leaving marks. "Careful..." he warned.

"No one will see here," Minhyuk purred, also sitting up to leave kisses along his collar bone. He twisted the sash around Changkyun's wrists before him, looping it a couple time. He tied a knot, giving himself a foot of it to hold on to.

Narrowing his eyes, Changkyun tilted his head to admire the gold sash against his skin. Laid even around his wrists, like Minhyuk had practiced before. "Wouldn't it be better if my hands were behind my back?" Changkyun grunted matter of fact, wiggling his fingers towards Minhyuk's jeans. He wasn't quite as helpless with his hands bound before him.

"Hmm, on your back," Minhyuk ordered, nodding towards the headboard. Without hesitation, Changkyun crawled off of him and further up the bed, rolling on his back. He followed Minhyuk's eyes, drawing his hands above his head. His hands clenched the headboard where he knew he would be bound soon.

Minhyuk slid to the edge of the bed, eyes focused on his lover's stretched out body. He slipped his shirt over his head, followed by undoing his jeans. Standing beside the bed, he bit down on his lip as he unhooked the button. Changkyun scanned him from head to toe with a long exhale. He had seen him naked plenty of times since sharing such close quarters. Before they were even sleeping together. But now with new meaning, it was a sight he would never tire of for a million years.

Minhyuk caught his glance as he slid out of his jeans, letting them puddle with his shirt on the floor. A wonderful shade of red popped onto the high points of his cheeks. Despite his assertive attitude, he couldn't get over the look Changkyun was giving him. "Are you going to tie me down or stand there?" Changkyun pressed, chewing on his bottom lip.

Minhyuk straightened his back, drawing his glance back up the length of his lover's body. He pulled a knee onto the bed as he crawled to him, snaking his hand up Changkyun's leg. Squeezing his thigh, he avoided the place the younger wanted touch the most. He pulled himself all the way on the bed, his thighs straddling Changkyun's hips. Kneeling upright, making sure to weigh away from the pop in his lover's sweatpants. Admiring his body, letting his prey struggle beneath him. "You're killing me, Min," Changkyun muttered, his fingers tight around the bed frame.

His elder reached over him and grabbed the loose end of the sash. Whipping it around the bed frame, he fastened it in place. His chest hovered over Changkyun's face, thighs holding down his hips. Everything inches from the younger's reach. Changkyun tried to buck up into him, but he kept his distance with a sly smirk. Minhyuk clawed his hands down the others bound arms. "You had the chance to touch me a moment ago," he purred, sitting back so he rested on Changkyun's bare stomach. He rolled his hips forward to please his own arousal. "Now you'll have to wait..."

Fuck. Changkyun winced at the missed opportunity. So willing to bend to his command that he forgot to slip into his normal devious behavior. But he would have his chance later.

Minhyuk slid his weight up along the bed until his knees framed Changkyun's bound arms. His hardened cock trapped in his boxers within lip's reach, waiting for satisfaction. All Minhyuk had to do was part his lips to begin an order, and Changkyun opened his mouth, offering his tongue. His arms twitched, his hands wishing to pull from their binds to touch him. To grab him and bring him closer, impatience flooding his body. The sash tightened around his wrists, but he winced back the tug when Minhyuk grabbed his hair. Combing back his loose bangs, thumb gliding above his eyebrow piercing. His fingers careful, head tilted as he admired his partner. Deep, midnight eyes, painted like the sky at night. Changkyun breathed in, drowning in the uneven thud of his heartbeat. Minhyuk looked at him like he was the only person in the world.

"Changkyun..." Minhyuk's voice poured from his pursed lips, his eyes narrowed as if he had a world of words buzzing in his brain. He kept them there, letting his lover's name trail in a whisper before leaning down to seal a kiss on his forehead. Long, slow, full lips and a long exhale through his nose. "Let me know if I'm too rough..." Changkyun jerked his hands again, the bind growing stronger around his wrist. Burning with each pull. God, he wanted to kiss him. He could say it, ask for a kiss, Minhyuk wouldn't reject after all his fussing. He flexed his fingers to keep circulation flowing, swallowing down his own words. Too rough? Nothing he couldn't handle if it meant staying like this forever.

Using one hand to shovel back the hair that had fallen in his face, Minhyuk sat back upright. He bit down on his lips, his other thumb looping into the elastic of his boxers. He tugged them down, giving enough slack to release his erection. Weight heavy against Changkyun's chest, head of his cock rested against his lower lip.

With a shuddered breath, Changkyun opened his mouth, awaiting his lover. Minhyuk grabbed the head board on both sides of his bound hands, rolling his hips forward. Driving his hard cock into his lover's begging mouth. Changkyun groaned with each fluid thrust, unable to do anything but take him. Arms tied above his head, body pinned to the bed by Minhyuk's crushing weight on his chest. He took his cock with an eager tongue, moaning each time it filled his throat. He stared up, brown eyes fluttering with lust at the way Minhyuk bit down on his lip. Biting back his own moans, shuddered breaths spreading to every inch of his body as he used him for his pleasure.

Changkyun continued squirming in his bonds, desperate to touch him. To lay his fingers all over his toned, beautiful body. To pull his hair, dig his nails into skin. But all he could do was pull, the scarf bearing into his wrists. He couldn't stop, out of control of his own body from Minhyuk and his hardening lust. He imagined him on the brink of orgasm. Grabbing him rough by the hair and thrusting deep down his throat. Unloading thick into him, forcing him to swallow every second of it. Though they didn't have much time, he didn't want it to end so soon. He wished for Minhyuk to use him at his mercy for the rest of the night.

And then Minhyuk stopped, a hand from the headboard coursing through Changkyun's hair. Petting him, like a cat, soft and cautious, drawing away from his partner's mouth. A trail of saliva connected Changkyun's lips to his wanting cock as he pulled from him with a sticky pop. He rested there for a moment, sliding his slick member across his lover's lips. Changkyun wanted to ask why he stopped. He also wanted to tell him to keep going. But he needed to catch his breath.

With careful fingers, Minhyuk tugged on the golden sash holding Changkyun down. He undid the tight knot, letting the fabric give way. It coiled loose down the younger's reddened skin. Changkyun watched him, the way he ran his fingers through the fabric. Pushing it aside until it was no longer holding him down. He pressed his fingertips into the indents the sash made. Taking Changkyun's hands within his own, he brought them to his lips. Kissing at the reddened welts. It stung for a moment, but Changkyun endured it with stars in his eyes. Comforting tingles pulsed in his brain and resided in his heart. Soft, pleasing, safe. He couldn't love him any more than this moment. "I'm sorry," Minhyuk whispered against his skin. His lips and tongue brushed away any inkling of pain where the restraints once bound. "I didn't notice it getting so tight..."

Changkyun was speechless, only able to watch with a slacked jaw and lidded eyes. Following each delicate kiss on his sore skin, flexing his fingers to brush Minhyuk's face. Moments like this were few and far between. Most of their time spent together was quick, sometimes aggressive, less romantic. Friends with benefits, using one another for their bodies with no emotional intent. But things like this, these were Changkyun's favorite. The moments stolen between sets on tour, when Minhyuk would catch his hand as they slipped off stage. The lazy, sleepy shuffling while coiled in the hotel blankets. Coercing him awake with the softest kisses on his neck the morning after. Changkyun loved the naughtier times, but these moments had him smiling for the rest of the day.

Minhyuk let his hands fall away, retrieving the golden sash at their side. Changkyun busied his free fingers with his lover's hair. He drew them through the light strands, his thumbs brushing under the other's dark eyes. His skin felt warm and there was a light blush on the apple of his cheeks. "Why are you looking at me like that?" Minhyuk murmured, twirling the sash around his own wrist again. He scooted his body down so he was now straddling his hips instead of his head.

"Like what?" Changkyun murmured. He narrowed his eyes, letting his hands travel down the others neck and over his shoulders. Scratching at the beautiful rose tattooed inked between his shoulder blades.

Minhyuk laid his hands against Changkyun's chest, staring down at him. Wispy bangs fluttering in his face, over the tinge of red on his skin. "Like you love me."

Fuck. Minhyuk was catching on. Or looking too deep into it. Not that he was wrong, but Changkyun wanted to be the one to tell him first. Now was a good of time as any. Yet he hesitated again as he propped himself up on his elbows. He stared at the other man, a smirk popping on his face. All the softness left him, replaced by devious intent. "We don't have a lot of time left," he began, sitting upright and grabbing Minhyuk's hips. "Shouldn't you tie me up again?"

Minhyuk pouted as he draped his arms over Changkyun's shoulders, as if that was the answer he didn't want. Wrapping the sash around his own wrist, he dragged the loose end down Changkyun's chest. He slid off his lap and came behind him, leaving a trail of bites and lips on the younger's shoulder as Changkyun sat up. "I am going to spoil you," Minhyuk breathed into his ear, his voice low and husky. Changkyun's body buckled and he offered his hands behind his back. His thickness tightened in his sweatpants and he swallowed. The love was still there, but there were more pressing issues building in his body. Minhyuk slid the sash around his crossed wrists. Delicate, avoiding the redden marks dug into his skin. Soft over the healing burn, but strong enough to keep him bound. Once satisfied with his handy work, he leaned his bare weight into Changkyun's back. Biting against his ear, reaching his hands around to grab his chest and stomach. "Against the headboard..."

Minhyuk let go, standing from the bed. He watched Changkyun fumble to push himself back until his bare shoulders hit the cold frame. He took the moment slip out of his underwear, letting it join the pile of his other clothes on the floor. The younger swallowed, biting back a smile at the others naked form. That boy was beautiful from head to toe.

Crawling onto the bed, the elder took his familiar place back in Changkyun's lap. One hand grabbed the bed frame, the other back in the maknae's hair. He perched himself over his groin, rolling his hips, making sure to weigh heavy against him. Teasing him over his sweatpants, feeling the thickness against his own. "Minhyuk, please," Changkyun winced through a sharp inhale, desperate for release. Or at least to remove his pants.

Minhyuk tilted his head, a smile popping onto his lips. Soft, seductive, through lidded eyes and a rosy tint on his cheeks. Changkyun's entire body shook as Minhyuk grabbed him by the hair at the back of his head. He pulled, a hiss escaping the younger's lips, before pressing his forehead to the others. Their lips inches apart and again, Changkyun yearned to break the rule. He had already broken the more important one. But even if he tried, Minhyuk wouldn't let him. He was in his hands. "I want to make a mess of you," Minhyuk murmured. He pulled the younger's head back further to lay a kiss against the hollow of his throat.

"Oh, fuck..." It was the only thing he could manage through a strangled moan. But inside his brain, he begged for Minhyuk to ruin him. If he wrecked him hard enough, it would knock some sense into him. He was putty in the others hands, he would do anything for him. Give him anything he asked for with zero hesitation. Even if he rejected him.

Minhyuk let go, sliding his hand forward. His palm cradled Changkyun's cheek, thumb coursing over his bottom lip. The younger darted out his tongue to lick the tip, almost whimpering as he wiggled beneath his elder. He wanted to kiss him, he wanted to kiss him more than anything else in the world. But he couldn't spit it out. Especially now that Minhyuk was sliding his fingers into his mouth. Minhyuk almost purred against his earlobe, flicking a piercing with his tongue. Without thinking, Changkyun bit down at at the slightest touch. Minhyuk withdrew his fingers, grabbing his lover by the chin. "Be good for me or I'll have to put that mouth to good use again."

Whatever had gotten into Minhyuk, Changkyun loved it. They had spent plenty of nights together and never had he been this aggressive. This dominant. The only time he had seen him this way was during performances when he commanded the stage. Spending so many sleepless nights together rubbed off on him. With a strangled whine, Changkyun nodded, watching his partner's descent down his body. Leaving wet, warm kisses against his skin. Biting at his nipple, above his navel, along his hip bone. All the while tugging off his sweatpants and throwing them to the floor. His erection fell heavy against his thigh and Minhyuk ignored it. With a smile, he leaned to the side of the bed, scooping the box of condoms from the floor. The younger only squirmed, the bonds around his wrist tightening with his struggle. This man was driving him crazy.

Minhyuk yanked a foil packet from the box, tossing the rest on the floor. With a smirk, he offered it before Changkyun's lips. "Hold this," he ordered, making the younger take it between his teeth. Changkyun did so without hesitation, trying to hold his breath behind the packet. He watched his lover scoop out a bottle of lube from the messy nightstand straw by his bed, popping the cap. "Looks like you didn't clean everywhere," Minhyuk smirked, slamming the drawer shut. He poured a generous amount on his fingers and tossed the bottle aside.

"I was being polite," Changkyun grunted past his teeth, watching Minhyuk lean forward.

The other man nuzzled his lips against his neck with a breathless sigh. "When are you polite?" the older muttered, a chuckle rolling from his throat. He slid his hand behind him, pressing a slick finger against his entrance. The single sensation sent a chill along his skin and he breathed into Changkyun's neck. "Always so mean to me..." His voice rolled like thunder from his throat and Changkyun squirmed. Minhyuk's deeper rasp was his weakness. Along with his whispers and the way he moved his hips. Everything. Minhyuk in his entirety was his weakness.

Sliding his wet finger inside his needy entrance, he let out a soft moan into Changkyun's neck. His lips rested there, teeth grazing the skin. Changkyun watched, the man above him writhing as he filled himself. Adding a second finger, and then a third, fucking himself right over his body. He almost let his mouth open to exhale, but clamped his lips around the foil. His binds tightened as he squirmed, eager to watch, but impatient to wait. "We should never wait this long again." Minhyuk groaned, one hand on the headboard, the other working his entrance. Changkyun swallowed, turning his head, thankful that the packet was between their lips. This shouldn't be happening. They were never supposed to to this again. But Changkyun was very good at making mistakes. "Touching myself in the shower or when you're gone isn't enough."

"What has gotten into you?" Changkyun breathed when Minhyuk finally pulled the condom from his teeth. The older pushed away from the headboard while sliding out from his stretched hole.

With a smirk, Minhyuk ripped open the condom packet. He rolled it onto Changkyun's eager length, positioning himself over him. "You in a second here," he smiled and Changkyun's eyes rolled back.

"Jesus Christ," he winced, feeling their roles had reversed. Minhyuk was never like this. Playful, yes, but devious? That was Changkyun's job. Not that he disliked it. He was loving every second of it. As promised, Minhyuk lowered his hips and sheathed himself on Changkyun's cock. Slow at first, his head falling back, mouth open with a choked cry. He was bigger than he remembered, though it has only been a month.

"Let's never... never, ever wait this long," Minhyuk swallowed, picking up pace with his rolling hips. Voice low, strangled, but a hint of a giggle behind his groan. "Ever again." Changkyun only watched, mouth open, tongue prodding against his lower lips. His entire body shuddering as Minhyuk's tight entrance squeezed around him. A month was too long? Changkyun spoiled him during that tour. "Ah, I missed you..."

Changkyun only breathed in response, staring up at the beauty grinding in his lap. Rolling his hips against him, thighs bouncing against his own. Only the sound of their breath and slick skin on skin filled the room. Minhyuk's hushed cries erupted louder with each hard roll downwards. Taking him in completely, impaling himself on his length. With his back arched, it only trapped his own aroused member between them. Slick from sweat and precum dripping from the head, ready for his own release.

With a wild moan, Changkyun leaned his head back against the bed frame. He only shut his eyes for a moment, not wanting to miss a second of his lover's ecstasy. Minhyuk was beautiful, but he was even more gorgeous in the throes of pleasure. Back arched, head back, rosy lips trembling with each shameless groan. The only thing that would make it better would be Changkyun's hands pulling his hair. But they were still pinned behind his back. It was almost unbearable. He needed to touch him and soon.

"Ah-ah, Changkyun..." Minhyuk moaned, his voice reverberating through their quiet room. Even strung out, he couldn't contain his voice as he plunged his lover deeper inside of him. He rolled his hips forward, clenching his thighs around Changkyun's waist. Everything inside him tensed and he could feel his stomach tighten. His cock sliding between their sweat soaked bodies was enough to almost get him off. "I'm going to come, oh god..."

"No," Changkyun stammered, wiggling to get out of his ties. He wanted to touch him, he needed to touch him. "No, not yet, untie me," he forced out and Minhyuk leaned forward, pressing their heads together. His breath fell heavy, panting through each sensual roll of his hips. Changkyun stopped his own eager thrusting, seconds away from stealing his lips. "Minhyuk, please, I need to touch you..."

Minhyuk did as requested, his brain too fogged with lust to keep up the dominant persona. He continued to ride him. Slow, meticulous body rolls as he reached around to undo the sash. All the while eyes shut, lips inches apart, remembering the rules in the back of his mind. But they were so close, they had already done so much. He opened his eyes, staring into his partner's. Feeling his entire body shudder, on the brink of climax. His fingers fumbled to untie the sash and Changkyun felt the binds loosen. But he never broke eye contact, not even once, feeling like the entire room froze. Time stood still for a second and every single feeling he tried to bury down came at him like a freight train.

Minhyuk was so beautiful. The most beautiful man he had ever laid eyes on. In the heat of the moment, flushed cheeks, begging mouth, bottom lip plump from biting down his cries. Eyes wide, a dark galaxy he could stare into forever, finding comfort and solace in their unknown. He loved him, he loved him so much, and wanted to spend every waking second like this. Tangled in him, body so close they almost became one. He could die in this moment and that would be enough. With free hands, Changkyun did what he knew would stop the emotions bubbling in his throat. Changkyun flung his hands forward, grabbing Minhyuk's cheeks, sealing their lips together.

The elder's body melted at the long awaited contact, mouth open with a choked groan. His lips eager, forgetting to move his body, caught off guard by the unexplored sensation. A kiss, it was only a kiss on the lips, but he felt it jolt through his body stronger than anything before. The younger pushed away from the headboard, flipping their positions. Minhyuk's back hit the disheveled comforter with his lover still deep inside him. Changkyun's movements were slow, almost rhythmic as he slid inside of him. Never once breaking the onslaught of kisses. Minhyuk wrapped his arms around his neck, drawing them closer. Tasting his tongue, biting his lover's lips, reveling in a moment he didn't realize he had been waiting for. Something so small, something so innocent in comparison to everything else. Yet something so dangerous.

For a moment, they parted lips, foreheads still pressed together. Back into staring, Changkyun's intense gaze breaking down every wall Minhyuk built himself.

_"Are you afraid that if you kiss me, you'll fall in love?"_

Minhyuk had said it as a joke, but never realized how serious it was. "Oh god," he groaned, his fingers tangled in Changkyun's hair as the younger slid into him. Each thrust long and slow causing Minhyuk's legs to tremble. He was so close, his entire body paralyzed with emotion. Changkyun kissed him again, soft this time, full on the lips. His kiss turned to a smile and Minhyuk thought he was going to melt right into the bed. It was that sly, devious grin that drove their fans crazy. The one he gave after he knew he did something naughty, except it was all Minhyuk's. It was only his. Oh, how he wanted Changkyun to be only his forever. He should have never let him kiss him. "Oh, oh, god," he whimpered as his lover picked up speed, thrusting him harder against the bed. Still never breaking eye contact, eyes as intense as his movement. Staring at him like he was the only person in the world. He wanted to be the only person in Changkyun's world. Minhyuk let out a long, shuddered sigh and finally closed his own. "Oh, no..."

"Oh, no?" Changkyun repeated, his movement slowing for a moment. He kissed the corner of Minhyuk's lips, afraid he hurt him or overstepped his boundaries. He was the one breaking rules left and right after all.

Minhyuk tugged on his hair and clenched his thighs tight around him. "Don't stop," he ordered in a choked out moan, opening his eyes again. "I'm so close, please don't stop."

Doing as ordered, Changkyun slid one hand down his side, grabbing Minhyuk's hip and picking up the pace. The slow rhythm became a pounding until his lover could no longer control his cries. Minhyuk brought the back of his hand to his mouth, biting down to hold back the noise but to no avail. It felt too good, and he was so close. His whole body was blooming with unexplored feelings he crushed down from day one. With his free hand, Changkyun grabbed Minhyuk's wrist, pulling his hand away. He pinned it at the side of his head. "Let me hear you," he whispered, loving the choked out cries dripping from his lips. Like a vivid song he produced and played on repeat for the rest of his life.

Minhyuk was on the verge of tears, overwhelmed with both emotion and pleasure. How could he have been so blind? Something like this didn't come out of nowhere. Stepping back for a month put a stupid kiss into perspective and he wanted to scream. And not because Changkyun was fucking him senseless into the mattress. Did he... love him? He felt something. And it was all too much. He linked his ankles behind Changkyun's back, thighs trembling against his hips. "Ah-ah, Kyun, baby," was all he could whimper, drowning in his own voice.

The other gave one final deep thrust and Minhyuk almost sobbed. His orgasm ripped through him like a storm and he sealed his scream against Changkyun's lips. It didn't take long for Changkyun to break, too, succumbing to the other falling to pieces around him. Shaking, trembling, grabbing him as close as possible. Until they were both spent, Minhyuk letting his arms fall to his sides with half a breathless smile. He stared up at Changkyun, licking his swollen lip and raking back his partner's sweaty bangs. "Wow," he whispered, never breaking eye contact. Staring at Changkyun like he was his entire world. And maybe he was. Maybe he had been this entire time and he never realized it. The thought twisted his stomach and he almost forgot they had to be quick about their clean up. The others would be home soon.

Changkyun's once proud, devious smile faltered and he looked away towards the door. He slid out of and away from Minhyuk, sitting at the edge of the bed. As usual, he didn't say much, standing to collect his clothes off the floor. "Changkyun-ah," Minhyuk beckoned him with a lazy hand, propping himself up on one elbow. Although headed for the shower, Changkyun slid into his sweatpants. He paused at the door, hand hovering over the handle. "You... wanted to talk?"

The younger bunched his shoulders, staring down at the door handle. The high drained from his body and he stood with the painful reminder of his nagging feelings. Unbeknownst that Minhyuk was running through them, too. "It's okay," he breathed, tossing a smile over his shoulder. Minhyuk swallowed, stumbling out of bed to put his hand against the door handle first. "We'll talk another time, it's nothing."

"Talk later... before bed?" Minhyuk smiled, tilting his head. Charming, calm, rosy tint on his cheeks. Bottom lip swollen from biting. Blissful sparkle in his eye. Changkyun couldn't look at him much longer. "Does this mean I can kiss you whenever I want now?" the older teased with an eager smile. "I told you... it wasn't that big of a deal." Minhyuk could be deceiving when he wanted, but he was a terrible liar when it wasn't a game.

"We should stop doing this." Changkyun finally looked him in the eye, his mouth open, bottom lip trembling. His voice seemed firm, but he tripped over his words. Like he didn't want to say them, but he was being forced. "We said we would stop. We have to stop."

"Stop? Changkyun, it's only se-"

"I don't think it is anymore." Changkyun took in a long breath and tried to nudge Minhyuk out of the way. He pushed his hand from the door handle, turning it and slipping out into the hallway. The door closed quiet behind him and Minhyuk back stepped to the bed as he swept his own clothes off the floor. He balled them in his arms, hugging them against his chest. He was too obvious. Did he let something slip without realizing it? Changkyun could tell. He knew Minhyuk felt different.

It was a kiss. A stupid kiss. There were rules in place for a reason, and he never should have broken both of them at once.

**Author's Note:**

> Changkyun be like, "Feelings, what the FUCK am I gonna do with those, bye." Ahh, boys and their unresolved problems and lack of communication skills. All shall be addressed in the next chapter... when I get on writing that. Thank you for reading. <3


End file.
